Recent Stories:

Yoga Tights Overload

Yoga Husband: Honey? H-o-n-e-y? The yoga tights on top of the dresser... can I put them in the laundry hamper? Yoga Wife: They're not dirty. Yoga Husband: Are you sure? They smell like a sailor farted on them. Yoga Wife: That's... normal. Yoga Husband: Jeez... you...

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Ayurveda for the Yoga Husband

My wife goes to an Ayurvedic 'doctor' every few weeks. He tells her some made-up nonsense which she gladly believes. Here is the conversation we had after her most recent appointment with him:   Yoga Wife: I saw the Ayurvedic doctor today. He gave me some...

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Yoga Alarm Clock

I'm a morning person and I like to wake up early. I find 6:30 a.m. to be just right - not too early, and not too late. However, my yoga wife sees 4:30 a.m. as 'just right'. Her morning routine is my alarm clock: 1. Heaving Gorilla I am first woken up at 5 a.m. by the...

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How to Avoid Yogis

I know I should eat more greens (and eat less browns, especially deep-fried browns). I know 'the time to relax is when you don't have time for it'. I know ‘nobody ever regretted going to a yoga class’. I know all that, but sometimes that's not going to happen, and in...

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I Took a Yoga Class

I took a yoga class. I have to. It's part of my job as the Yoga Husband.   Here's how yesterday's yoga class went: I go into a level-1 class. The class starts and I am more-or-less able to follow the instructions. That being said, I'm also: breathing through my...

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Costs of Yoga

The Costs of Yoga You Might Not Know About So I order a pizza from Domino's (I know, the epitome of yogic nourishment) and guess what - they charge me a f*&#ing delivery fee! Did you know about this? Am I the only one who thinks that 'delivery' is what they...

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The Fermentation Invasion

Yoga Husband comes to the rescue again - answering the age old question: 'what the hell is my yoga wife talking about?' I bet you've been hearing the words kimchi, tempeh, and kombucha a lot lately. To me they sound a lot like what amorous yogis say to each other in...

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Feet Condoms

Here's the problem - my yoga wife is hot. I agree, there are worse problems, so let me rephrase my problem: I need to stay in really good shape or else she will leave me for one of those skinny, kale-eating yogis from her studio. Sure, I could become vegan, practice...

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Yoga Speak

Hi Yoga Husband, I'm a guy and I like going to yoga class (for the yoga high, not for the babes), but I have to admit that most of the time I just feel stupid -  I don't have a clue what the hell the teacher is saying. Please help me figure out all this yoga speak!...

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Shit Yogis Say #1

My Ayurvedic doctor told me that I am struggling with my Kapotasana because I have a Vata imbalance…

Shit Yogis Say #2

My energy level is so low. I need a vacation!  It has been 3 months since the pranayama retreat in Mykonos…

Shit Yogis Say #3


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