Stories

The Slippery Slope of Supplements

The Yoga Wife and I are lucky to have our own place. It's lovely and spacious, and we're very happy with it, but we'll be needing more space soon because... we're expecting!!! No, no, no. We're not expecting a baby. We're expecting to endlessly accumulate a shit-ton...

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Yoga Tights Overload

Yoga Husband: Honey? H-o-n-e-y? The yoga tights on top of the dresser... can I put them in the laundry hamper? Yoga Wife: They're not dirty. Yoga Husband: Are you sure? They smell like a sailor farted on them. Yoga Wife: That's... normal. Yoga Husband: Jeez... you...

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Ayurveda for the Yoga Husband

My wife goes to an Ayurvedic 'doctor' every few weeks. He tells her some made-up nonsense which she gladly believes. Here is the conversation we had after her most recent appointment with him:   Yoga Wife: I saw the Ayurvedic doctor today. He gave me some pills for...

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Yoga Alarm Clock

I'm a morning person and I like to wake up early. I find 6:30 a.m. to be just right - not too early, and not too late. However, my yoga wife sees 4:30 a.m. as 'just right'. Her morning routine is my alarm clock: 1. Heaving Gorilla I am first woken up at 5 a.m. by the...

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How to Avoid Yogis

I know I should eat more greens (and eat less browns, especially deep-fried browns). I know 'the time to relax is when you don't have time for it'. I know ‘nobody ever regretted going to a yoga class’. I know all that, but sometimes that's not going to happen, and in...

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I Took a Yoga Class

I took a yoga class. I have to. It's part of my job as the Yoga Husband.   Here's how yesterday's yoga class went: I go into a level-1 class. The class starts and I am more-or-less able to follow the instructions. That being said, I'm also: breathing through my mouth...

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Costs of Yoga

The Costs of Yoga You Might Not Know About So I order a pizza from Domino's (I know, the epitome of yogic nourishment) and guess what - they charge me a f*&#ing delivery fee! Did you know about this? Am I the only one who thinks that 'delivery' is what they specialize...

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The Fermentation Invasion

Yoga Husband comes to the rescue again - answering the age old question: 'what the hell is my yoga wife talking about?' I bet you've been hearing the words kimchi, tempeh, and kombucha a lot lately. To me they sound a lot like what amorous yogis say to each other in...

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Feet Condoms

Here's the problem - my yoga wife is hot. I agree, there are worse problems, so let me rephrase my problem: I need to stay in really good shape or else she will leave me for one of those skinny, kale-eating yogis from her studio. Sure, I could become vegan, practice...

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Yoga Speak

Hi Yoga Husband, I'm a guy and I like going to yoga class (for the yoga high, not for the babes), but I have to admit that most of the time I just feel stupid -  I don't have a clue what the hell the teacher is saying. Please help me figure out all this yoga speak!  ...

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Eating Out with the Yoga Wife

Yoga Husband: You know, we don't celebrate life enough. Don't your yoga books talk about enjoying every moment in life? Let's eat out tonight! Yoga Wife: That would be awesome! YH: Where would you like to eat? I'm hereby crowning you as the official princess of this...

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Savasana – The Sexiest of all Yoga Poses

First thing first - savasana is only sexy if you're into the lying motionless kind of sex... So why was my yoga wife checking out beautifully-shot photos of people lying flat on their backs in savasana? I totally get the universal attraction of this kind of "porn"....

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Yoga Poetry – Yoga Husband Style…

Plant-Based Protein Square Who are you calling crazy? Just because I think tofu ain't tasty? Sure, there's a lot of beauty to that slimy square block And the taste... mmmm... wet sock? My affliction must be unique Because my wife's friends think it's tres chic Mix it...

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The Yoga Schisms

Harmony, oneness, sweetness and light . The yoga community, right? Well, yes... and no. Behind those beatific smiles and that balanced karma lie some cut-throat tribal tendencies. You see, there are as many schisms in the yoga community as there are splinter groups in...

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Picture me!

The yoga wife loves to travel. My wife starts talking about the details of our next trip while we are on a trip! We're on a train in Sri Lanka in January, and she says to me 'So there's this Pranayama workshop in Paris in April...' But where does this compulsion to...

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My wife’s anatomical antics and anomalies

I’m standing on the dock with my friend Jerry when a pair of feet appear above his head. This might startle most people, but not me - I’ve become blasé about these anatomical anomalies. Wherever I go, random parts of the human body routinely pop up in strange places....

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Never eating healthy (…enough)

If you're a yoga husband, I'm assuming you got a little thrown off by the title of this post. "Not eating healthy?! My yoga girl drinks a shot of wheat grass for breakfast, sprinkles spirulina on her organic quinoa salad, and thinks tofu is unhealthy!" You're...

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Bathroom Yoga?!

Here's a tip: do NOT walk in on your yoga wife when she's in the bathroom! Oh no, not because she might be on the crapper, it's much worse than that. If she's taking too long in there, she's probably doing shatkarmas (also called kriyas) - an assortment of bizarre...

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Yoga squashed my junk

Hi Yoga Husband, I tried out yoga for the first time and my junk got squashed, what's a man to do?   Dear squashed junk, Good for you for trying out yoga. I've tried out yoga many times - about once every 6 months :) There are a few poses that are indeed unfriendly to...

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Cat vs. Yoga Girl

This yoga cat is more man than I'll ever be because he said to his yoga girl "enough is enough!".  Click this image to watch the video:           Yoga husbands - don't try this at home! Only a pussy can pull this...

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Learn the yoga lingo, dude.

Aren't you a little curious what Om means? Well, it means Universal representation of what is yet to be made manifest. Our potential. There. Now you know yoga lingo. (taken from www.doyouyoga.com) doyouyoga.com prepared a short and easy list which I highly recommend....

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Confessions of a yoga wife

Yoga holds its practitioners to a very high standard, but - let's face it, at the end of the day they're all human... So even if she tries her hardest to keep the facade of the 'enlightened one', here's what your yoga wife is thinking but not telling you: I want to...

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What is yogahusband.com?

I'm not kidding - I am literally writing this post while my wife's flexing and binding herself right in front of me.  Ahhh... the joys of being a yoga husband! Don't get any ideas... we're both fully dressed and there is no physical contact going on. She is doing a...

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The birth of yogahusband.com

This story begins like many other stories - with a romance. I met my wife in a bit of a chance encounter at a wedding of a mutual friend. Our first interaction was flavoured by a few glasses of wine, and good conversation about what we're passionate about (me - dogs,...

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